


The One Where Zach Talks Too Much to His Dog

by withthepilot



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dog(s), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-30
Updated: 2010-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-14 05:59:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withthepilot/pseuds/withthepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Chris is a dog walker, Zach is a busy producer, and Noah is a diva.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Zach Talks Too Much to His Dog

“So...what’d you say your name was again? Craig?”

“Chris,” the guy supplies helpfully.

The hands pushed deep into the front jeans pockets and the wide, bashful smile are _not_ helpful because they’re threatening to give Zach the most inappropriate boner of his life. Since when did they start making dog walkers so attractive? Not that Chris plans on doing this his whole life; Zach already learned over the phone that he’s fresh out of college, trying to make it in the acting business, yadda yadda, anyone and everyone’s life story. His response to Zach’s ad had been the least annoying of the bunch, just listing his experience and references.

But he is cute. He is really fucking cute. Zach falters a little, embarrassed that he already forgot the guy’s name.

“Right, sorry. Um, okay, so...the thing is, Noah’s kind of a diva.”

Noah looks up from his corner of the kitchen, as if to sneer at Zach, then puts his head down again. Zach can see the sparkle of Noah’s rhinestone-studded collar from where he’s standing, the one he bought when he was at the pet store with Kristen because she’d damn well _insisted_ and Zach couldn’t say no to her, even if it was his own damn dog. Plus, Noah had barked very loudly and angrily when Zach tried to buy the plain blue collar instead. So now his dog walks around Silverlake with this stupid studded collar and Zach wants to die right there because Chris is probably the hottest guy walking on Earth, at this moment, and he’s standing in Zach’s kitchen grinning his ass off at the fact that his dog wears a collar with fucking _rhinestones_.

“I’ve handled my fair share,” Chris says, shrugging. He nods toward Noah. “I like the collar. Sassy.”

“Sometimes he wears a bandana,” Zach says, sighing in defeat.

*

That night, he gets an e-mail from cpine@grad.ucberkeley.edu.

 _Do you coordinate? Because none of my shirts go with that collar at all, I’m afraid._

Zach smirks and quickly types his reply.

 _i don’t think he’ll mind. besides, i’m not paying extra to get you a new wardrobe._

The reply comes two minutes later: _Okay, how about a bedazzler?_

Okay, so he’s hot and witty. Well, isn’t that just fucking dandy. Zach groans and gives Noah a filthy look from his desk.

“This is all your fault, you know.”

Noah flicks his tail and leaves the room.

*

Chris turns out to be the world’s best dog walker as well, too. He can handle all of Noah’s delightful quirks and habits that Zach finds amusing but most people don’t, like the way he often takes twenty minutes just to find the _right_ hydrant to piss on. Also the way Noah shows off his butt to anyone leaning down to pick up his poop. Chris takes it all in stride. Plus, he’s flexible and can adapt to any crazy changes in Zach’s schedule, even when a last-minute meeting is called at his office and there’s no way Noah is going to put up with being left alone for more than six hours. Zach found that out the hard way, and has already bid several sad goodbyes to very expensive pairs of Italian leather shoes.

He gets home just as Chris is walking up to the front door of his house, Noah’s leash in one hand and an iced coffee in the other.

“Oh, my god. Thank you so much. So fucking much. I’ll pay you extra, I swear; I just couldn’t get out of it and I _just_ got this new pair of Prada loafers and—”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I was available and I can always use the cash.” Chris smiles and shrugs, scuffing his beat-up Chucks into the dirt. “You don’t have to pay me extra.”

“No, I do. Here.”

Zach opens up his wallet and gives him the first bill he pulls out: a hundred. Chris looks at it in surprise and squints.

“No, really, I can’t. I mean, it’s no big deal. I’d feel weird.”

“Don’t. Please, I insist.”

Chris hesitates but when Noah smacks his leg with his tail, he relents and takes the bill, folding it and tucking it into his pocket.

“Well, thanks. That’s, um...really generous of you.” His eyes are really blue, more so than usual today, and Zach has the passing hope that Chris buys himself something nice with the money. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Actually, ah...” Zach throws caution to the wind, still feeling like a royal douche, though he can’t figure out why. Dog walking is Chris’ _job_ ; of course he’s going to jump when Zach calls. “You want to come in for a drink?”

“Um, that’s cool. I got this.” Chris holds up the iced coffee, half-full, and shrugs. “Thanks, though. I’ll be here at ten tomorrow.”

“Right. Okay, yeah. Sure. Well, um...enjoy that coffee,” Zach says, nodding.

“I’ll try,” Chris says, laughing as he handing over the leash. He jogs off in a hurry and Zach exhales, catching Noah’s pointed gaze.

“Don’t give me that look. This is still your fault. You know, for...existing. And being too cute to get rid of.”

Noah tilts his head. The look on his face is clearly one of _Bitch, please_. Zach just huffs and rolls his eyes. He so taught Noah that look.

*

He has 459 unread messages in his Gmail inbox and no desire to clean out any of them. But he does look up when he sees the amount tick over to 460.

 _Sorry I didn’t accept your invitation. That was rude of me. I just had this feeling that it would be weird to stay for a drink after accepting so much money from you. I can over-think things that way._

Zach shuts his eyes tightly and curses.

 _i didn’t even think of that. jesus, i am so sorry that i made you feel like a hooker. basically, i am the biggest asshole in the world. you should learn that about me now before it’s too late._

 _I dunno, you seem okay to me. Maybe next time just offer to take me out for a drink instead of shoving money at me, y/y?_

Zach blinks and looks over at Noah. “Did I just get asked on a date by your hot dog walker?”

Noah yawns and trots off. Zach pouts and writes back.

 _i’ve got late nights this week...how about friday?_

 _Perfect._

Zach leans back in his chair with a happy laugh, stretching his arms over his head and glancing around. In a second, he’s out of his chair and darting across the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were hungry? Jesus, Noah, not the Prada!”

*

The drink goes...well. Really well. Considering that it ends with Zach fumbling to get his key in the lock of his front door while Chris runs his hands all over his body, Zach can safely say that he’s had worse dates.

Of course, Zach and Chris being out together at the same time means that no one has paid attention to Noah in hours. Because one drink led to two and two led to three and now it’s half past midnight and Noah is fucking _pissed_.

“Shit,” Zach says when he sees the scowly look on his dog’s face and spies the empty water and food bowls. Chris stops sucking at Zach’s lip long enough to notice as well. They both make resigned noises. “I’ll fill up the bowls, you walk him?” Zach offers.

“Got it,” Chris says.

He comes back ten minutes later with a giant piss stain on the leg of his jeans.

“You know that your dog walked _eight_ blocks before deciding the best place to relieve himself was on my Diesel jeans?”

“Yeah, he does that,” Zach drawls, biting the inside of his cheek. “That’s not a dealbreaker, is it?”

“Considering it’s not the first time it’s happened?” Chris unzips his jeans and pulls them off, throwing them aside, leaving him in a T-shirt and a very clingy pair of straining Y-fronts. “Yeah, no.”

Zach grips the counter hard. “Please come here right now?” he asks.

Chris grins his bashful little grin and goes.

And aside from the obvious facts that Chris is disgustingly hot and doesn’t mind walking a dog that wears a collar that’s the equivalent of a Victoria’s Secret thong, he’s still the best dog walker in the world when he’s totally cool about the fact that Noah takes his revenge by blocking the way to the bed, growling and snarling, like he just _knows_ that they want to fall into it. As always, Chris is flexible (in more ways than one, it turns out); he steers Zach toward the couch and molds to him perfectly as playful kisses turn into rutting and stroking and, blissfully, coming. And in the hazy afterglow of a rather spectacular orgasm with Chris’ warm body curled against him, Zach thinks Chris might also qualify as a pretty damn good boyfriend, too. Especially when he volunteers to wake up early and walk Noah.

“You sure?” Zach asks, lifting a brow.

“Yeah, totally. You can pay me in cock. That work for you?”

Noah ambles over, placated for the moment, and Zach can’t help but reach out to pet him lovingly.

“This is all your fault,” he mouths, and then, “Good boy.”

Noah barks and licks his hand.


End file.
